Don’t go far off
Don’t go far off, not even for a day, because –
because — I don’t know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.
Don’t leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.
Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don’t leave me for a second, my dearest,
because in that moment you’ll have gone so far
I’ll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?
Today, I turned 32 and had one of the best birthday's I can remember. While I do not like snow, I LOVE snow days! I was so thankful to be able to sleep in today thanks to the snow and canceled schools. It was so nice to not have to drive the girls around and plan my day around school starting and ending times. Our morning started with pancakes. The girls had chocolate chip :) Shortly after breakfast, I got a call from my dad and 98 year old grandma who sang, "Happy Birthday." Priceless! A sort time later, I received another wonderful "Happy Birthday" call from my forever and ever best friend, who failed to sing but still made me smile. Shortly before lunch, the girls and I made chocolate chip cookies. Yummy!! After lunch, I got Ainsley ready for her nap and then bundled up Madeleine and Emilia to head outside into the snow. It didn't take me long to figure out we had the best snow for making a snowman. Emilia was so excited to help make her first snowman. She sat in the snow with me and packed it into a three sphere like shapes. Madeleine chose to play/chase Angus instead of helping us until most of the work was done. I think Madeleine's favorite part was decorating or dressing our snowman.
Eric also got home from work as our snowman was just about done. After some pictures of our completed snowman, I started a snow ball fight with the girls. Eric quickly jumped in and before long we were all covered in snow. SO MUCH FUN! We came inside when the girls started to get cold. I got an awesome birthday card from my dear friend, Jolene. Next, Madeleine chose a stack of Christmas books and we sat on the couch and read through them followed by family cuddle time on the couch.
I am so blessed! I have a great family! I love my husband and girls so much! So thankful that I got to spend my birthday with them making memories.
Since almost the first day of school, Madeleine has had a new friend that she met on the bus. He actually lives a few doors down from us. Finally this week, he followed through on his bus promises and came over to play after school. Madeleine could not be more thrilled and Emilia also seems to get a long with him. Now I am finding myself in a new position. We do not know his family very well and while I am sure they are a loving family, I do not believe they have some of the same values we have. Madeleine has told us that her and her new friend sing on the bus and he does not know the song "Jesus loves me" but does know "wheels on the bus." Then today as we walked home from the bus stop, He realized he lost a paper on the bus and said "holy shit!" Yea... I was not a fan. So we are setting some ground rules. The friend can play at our house or with the girls outside but Madeleine is not allowed to go to his house. In the mean time I will continue to figure this whole thing out. I am hoping that our family can have a positive influence on her friend while keeping Madeleine from being negatively influenced.
Madeleine has also started reading :) I am so excited for her. At kindergarten orientation Madeleine's teacher said that in October she'd start sending home reading homework to the students who are ready. Tonight Madeleine got her first book "My Backpack" I loved sitting with her as she read the book tonight. So proud of her!!
In the spring during my senior year of high school I had to take one final requirement, a world history class. I remember picking one that I thought would be easy so I could just complete the requirement and move on towards graduation. About a week into the class the teacher pulled me aside and told me that the class was really beneath me and recommended I switch to the upper level class. I politely declined his suggestion and proceeded to finish the semester earning some of the highest grades in the class.
In college, I remember skipping A LOT of classes, showing up in sweats, sleeping during lectures and MAYBE opening a total of 2 books (only to complete assignments). And yet I graduated.
Looking back on my life I can't really think of a time I've given 100%. I can't think of a time I have truly challenged myself. I've always done what I needed to do and some cases settled for less than my best.
I wouldn't say that I haven't been passionate about some things I just lack ambition.
With Madeleine starting school this year I have really noticed her love for learning. In some ways she can be a perfectionist. And she's really smart. This week Madeleine was showing my dad one of her newest skills the other day and he made the comment to her that her mommy was really smart but never applied herself. His hope for her was that she applied herself.
This week I have done a lot of re-evaluating what I want in life. What I value. What I love. I am done with being less than all of me. I am done not putting effort into life/relationships.
Warm up 4.0 for one min incline 2
Sprint 9.0 for 30 seconds incline 2
Rest 4.0 for 30 secondsincline2
Repeat for 6 sets
Sprint 9.0 for 30 seconds
Rest 4.0 for 30 seconds
Repeat for 4 sets
It should not come as a surprise to most people that I LOVE summer!!! I cant get enough of the warm, sometimes humid weather. And today I finally feel like I got to experience some of it!
Monday's are Lily days, so the girls and I headed down to my parents this morning to hang out with Lily. Ainsley and Lily took turns napping while Madeleine and Emilia blew bubbles and rode bikes in my parents driveway. When Killian came home we ate dinner (Taco Mac-n-cheese) on the deck, before heading to Silver Mine for a quick walk and Pine View Dairy for ice cream. It was just an all around BEAUTIFUL day.
The girls and I finally got home just after 8pm. I bathed all 3 of them, gave the oldest two a quick snack and then it was off to bed. It took Madeleine less that 5 minutes to fall asleep, a new record!
I felt like I had accomplished so much today, while nothing was crossed off my "to do" list that after Emilia fell asleep I got in a quick work out.
Sprint 9.0 for 45 seconds
Rest 4.0 for 45 seconds
Repeat for 6 sets
4.0 at a 4 incline increasing incline by 2 every minute until reaching 10
ran 6.0 for 2 mins
Sprint 9.0 for 30 seconds
Rest 4.0 for 30 seconds
Repeat for 4 sets
15 Jump-up Burpees
Seriously it was a BEAUTIFUL day!!!!
Last night Madeleine had a sleep over with Aunt Erin and Killian. So I got to have some more quality time with Emilia.
I love Emilia. She is a many things: middle child, spicy firecracker, opinionated but more than anything she is affectionate and very sensitive. At times Emilia can be trying but she's so darn cute. I love her to pieces!
I decided to take the time last night to have some un-interrupted conversation with her. We just talked about things she like doing, like going to the beach and playing in the sand. We talked about her family and who loves her. And then I decided to ask her questions such as "what is your favorite color?" I thought I'd share some of her answers with you
Me: Emilia, what is your favorite color?
Me: Emilia, how much do I love you?
Emilia: So much!
Me: Emilia, who do you love?
Me: who else?
Emilia: Daddy, Madeleine, Ainsley, Angus, Mum- mum, Kelly, Erin, Killian
Me: Emilia, who is your best friend?
Me: What to you want to be when you grow up?
Emilia: A cow!
Me: Emilia, what comes out of cows
Emilia: umm pee
Me: Emilia does milk come out of cows?
Today the girls and I went out to run some errands. I had a return to make at Target, Madeleine needed Valentines for her preschool class and she's also been asking for a hand santitizer holder for her backpack, so off we went.
First stop, Target... My girls love the store with the red balls. The past two times we've gotten the largest cart there. Its the one with two seats that face the actual cart. (see picture below. Note these are not my kids)